Miners 10 Commandments
A man spake these words, and said: I am a miner, wandering "from away down east," to sojourn in a strange land. And
behold I've seen the elephant, yea, verily, I saw him, and bear witness, that from the key of his trunk to the
end of his tail, his whole body hath passed before me; and I followed him until his huge feet stood before a
clapboard shanty; then with his trunk extended he pointed to a candle-card tacked upon a shingle, as though he
would say Read, and I read the
I Thou shalt have no other claim than one.
II Thou shalt not make unto thyself any false claim, nor any likeness to a mean man, by jumping one:
for I, a miner,
am a just one, and will visit the miners around about, and they will judge thee; and when they shall decide, thou
shalt take thy pick, thy pan, thy shovel and thy blankets with all thou hast and shall depart seeking other good
diggings, but thou shalt find none. Then when thou hast paid out all thy dust, worn out thy boots and garments so that
there is nothing good about them but the pockets, and thy patience is like unto thy garments, then in sorrow shall thou
return to find thy claim worked out, and yet thou hath no pile to hide in the ground, or in the old boot beneath thy
bunk, or in buckskin or in bottle beneath thy cabin, and at last thou shalt hire thy body out to make thy board and save thy bacon.
III Thou shalt not go prospecting before thy claim gives out.
Neither shalt thou take thy money, nor thy gold dust,
nor thy good name, to the gaming table in vain; for monte, twenty-one, roulette, faro, lansquenet and poker,
will prove to thee that the more thou puttest down the less thou shalt take up; and when thou thinkest of thy w
ife and children, thou shalt not hold thyself guiltless—but insane.
IV Thou shalt not remember what thy friends do at home on the Sabbath day, lest the remembrance may not compare
favorably with what thou doest here.
Six days thou mayst dig or pick; but the other day is Sunday; yet thou washest
all thy dirty shirts, darnest all thy stockings, tap thy boots, mend thy clothing, chop the whole week's firewood,
make up and bake thy bread, and boil thy pork and beans, that thou wait not when thou returnest from thy long-tom weary.
For in six days' labor only though canst do it in six months; and though, and thy morals and thy conscience, be none
the better for it; but reproach thee, shouldst thou ever return with thy worn-out body to thy mother's fireside.
V Though shalt not think more of all thy gold, and how thou canst make it fastest,
than how thou will enjoy it
after thou hast ridden rough-shod over thy good old parents' precepts and examples, that thou mayest have nothing
to reproach thee, when left ALONE in the land where thy father's blessing and thy mother's love hath sent thee.
VI Thou shalt not kill; neither thy body by working in the rain, even though thou shalt make enough to buy physic
and attendance with;
nor thy neighbor's body in a duel, or in anger, for by "keeping cool," thou canst save his life
and thy conscience. Neither shalt thou destroy thyself by getting "tight," nor "stewed," nor "high," nor "corned,"
nor "half- seas over," nor "three sheets in the wind," by drinking smoothing down="brandy slings," "gin cocktails,"
"whiskey punches," "rum toddies," nor "egg-noggs." Neither shalt thou suck "mint juleps," nor "sherry- cobblers,"
through a straw, nor gurgle from a bottle the "raw material," nor take "it straight" from a decanter; for, while
thou art swallowing down thy purse, and the coat from off thy back thou art burning the coat from off thy stomach;
and if thou couldst see the houses and lands, and gold dust, and home comforts already lying there - "a huge pile" —thou
shouldst feel a choking in thy throat; and when to that thou addest thy crooked walkings thou wilt feel disgusted with
thyself, and inquire "Is thy servant a dog that he doeth these things!" Verily, thou shalt say, "Farewell, old bottle, I will
kiss thy gurgling lips no more; slings, cocktails, punches, smashes, cobblers, nogs, toddies, sangarees and juleps,
forever farewell. Thy remembrance shames one; henceforth, I cut thy acquaintance, and headaches, tremblings,
heart-burnings, blue devils, and all the unholy catalogue of evils that follow in thy train. My wife's smiles and
my children's merry-hearted laugh shall charm and reward me for having the manly firmness and courage to say NO. I wish
thee an eternal farewell."
VII Thou shalt not grow discouraged, nor think of going home before thou hast made thy "pile,"
because thou hast
not "struck a lead," nor found a "rich crevice," nor sunk a hole upon a "pocket," lest in going home thou shalt leave
four dollars a day, and going to work, ashamed, at fifty cents, and serve thee right; for thou knowest by staying here,
thou mightst strike a lead and fifty dollars a day, and keep thy manly self respect, and then go home with enough to
make thyself and others happy.
VIII Thou shalt not steal a pick, or a shovel, or a pan from thy fellow-miner;
nor take away his tools without
his leave; nor borrow those he cannot spare; nor return them broken, nor trouble him to fetch them back again, nor
talk with him while his water rent is running on, nor remove his stake to enlarge thy claim, nor undermine his bank
in following a lead, nor pan out gold from his "riffle box," nor wash the "tailings" from his sluice's mouth. Neither
shalt thou pick out specimens from the company's pan to put them in thy mouth or pocket; nor cheat thy partner of his
share; nor steal from thy cabin-mate his gold dust, to add to thine, for he will be sure to discover what thou hast
done, and will straightaway call his fellow miners together, and if the law hinder them not, will hang thee, or give
thy fifty lashes, or shave thy head and brand thee, like a horse thief, with "R" upon thy cheek, to be known and read
of all men, Californians in particular.
IX Thou shalt not tell any false tales about "good diggings in the mountains",
to thy neighbor that thou mayest
benefit a friend who had mules, and provisions, and tools and blankets he cannot sell,—lest in deceiving thy neighbor, when
he returneth through the snow, with naught save his rifle, he present thee with the contents
thereof, and like a dog, thou shalt fall down and die.
X Thou shalt not commit unsuitable matrimony, nor covet "single blessedness;"
nor forget absent maidens; nor
neglect thy "first love;" -but thou shalt consider how faithfully and patiently she awaiteth thy return; yea and
covereth each epistle that thou sendest with kisses of kindly welcome-until she hath thyself. Neither shalt thou cove
thy neighbor's wife, nor trifle with the affections of his daughter; yet, if thy heart be free, and thou dost love
and covet each other, thou shalt "pop the question" like a man.
A new Commandment give I unto thee - if thou has a wife and little ones, that thou lovest dearer than life,- that thou
keep them continually before thee, to cheer and urge thee onward, until thou canst say, "I have enough - God bless
them - I will return." Then from thy much-loved home, with open arms shall thy come forth to welcome thee, with weeping
tears of unutterable joy that thou art come; then in the fullness of thy heart's gratitude, thou shalt kneel together
before thy Heavenly Father, to thank him for thy safe return. AMEN - so mote it be.